Reality Check

Today I had a "lady doctor" appointment. Aren't those just so fun? Yeah, right! But my appointment today was a big slap in the face. The doctor talked to me about my weight and how "it's a bit higher than we would like to see you at..." Then she proceeded to give me tips on how to eat healthy. I was so embarrassed to even say that I am a fitness coach...

I knew I had been slacking but I didn't know it was 180lbs worth of slacking!!

So now it's time to be real with myself! No more excuses. No more slacking. I NEED to put my health first! My goal is to be down atleast 30lbs before I go back to the doctor next year.

I need some accountability though. I will be posting in here about progress and struggles. Anyone want to join me?? Comment below!

Let it go...

You thought I was just going to put Frozen lyrics here didn't you...?  Silly!

Letting shit go... one of the hardest things to do right there.  Even after you have already forgiven someone, do you ever really forget why you were mad?  It's not easy to.

But once you start forgiving its a great feeling.  I have held a lot of grudges in my day and holding onto anger never did me any good.  It really just held me back.  I am no expert by any means but it is something I am working on.

I have a lot of anger still towards a lot of people in my life, but I am working on weeding it out and letting it go.  I feel like I am holding on to the bigger stuff now.  I can let the little shit go.  I forgive the girl I thought was my friend for giving me the friendship boot when I needed a friend the most.  I forgive the person who brought me down so much that it almost broke me.  I forgive the teenage girl who totaled my favorite vehicle ever.  I can forgive the people who felt they had nothing better to do with their time but spread lies about me. I can let this stuff go.

Its hard to forgive my sister for not being there for 5 years.  Its hard to forgive my aunt for backstabbing my dad.  Its hard to let the life changing stuff go.  Maybe because forgiveness has to happen on both ends in those situations.  I will let go soon.  Hopefully it would speed up the rest of the process.

So every week I am going to focus on something to let go of and work on getting rid of that negative energy that is taking up my life.

This week I will forgive a person for the things they said about me.  What will you let go of?

Unplug

Last weekend we went camping in our new-to us Motor home.  We didn't go too far from home but my phone did turn into a camera/watch and that was it!  I could text sometimes, but not really.  But this was all perfectly fine.  We had an amazing time.  I did yoga every morning, played with the kids all day, and laughed with my family the entire weekend and no one had a phone in front of their nose unless it was to take pictures.  It was awesome.

Then on the radio while we were out there they said that people used to spend an average of 20 minutes on the phone a day and now we spend over 3 hours on them on average!  That is so sad!!!  There is a whole world out there we are missing because we're looking to see who is checked in at some bar or who is "ready to start the week!" and so much more useless information.

Now don't get me wrong, I love social media!  I am a social media queen!  I love seeing who just had a baby, and pictures of my family in Tennessee, and get updated on how my friend in Colorado is doing, and see videos of my friend in Cali who is a complete badass.  I love it all!  I could totally go without all the negativity, airing dirty laundry, and all other bullshit that people put out there for the world to see, but that's a different entry...

It was just so nice to be away from "it all" for the weekend.  Focus on enjoying and making memories with my family and my kids.  On the way there I seriously thought "I wish the camp ground had wifi" but I am so glad it doesn't and really hope it never does.

So what I have learned from all of this is that I would like to unplug more.  I am going to be looking for an app for my phone that tells me how much time I spend on my phone and work on cutting it down.  Who else is up for a challenge?  Even if I did just one or two days a week where I cut my time in half I think would be a great accomplishment, because lets be real, the world we live in today, I am not going to cut it out completely.  I like connecting.  I like sharing with others.  Hell, I do many of these entry's from my phone on the toilet so if I gave it up completely you wouldn't be reading most of these.  My main goal is to have many more times ahead of me where my phone is a camera and a watch to me whether I have service or not.

An Open Letter To The Feud That Is Dividing My Family

Let's be real here, I don't even remembered how you started anymore. Or who said what. All I know is you have been a burden on me and my family for too long.

Since you've come around sisters are now strangers, loved ones have passed, babies have been born, and kids are growing into young adults. So much time has passed with this feud here. Too much time. 

Memories are fading. Chances for new memories are passing. Tears have been shed and continue to flow from my mother's eyes. Its not easy to watch. And I feel like there is nothing I can do. I don't know how to make you go away. I often have dreams that you do go away. No questions asked. Its all just over. We are all together again. But unfortunately its not that easy. 

This feud can go away anytime now. You are no longer welcomed here. You never were. 

No if only others could say the same and we could all move on.